Gags for 10 years. The funniest children's jokes

Jokes for children 9,10,11,12 years old are very funny, short and not very long, which will be fun to read!

I used to lead an active lifestyle - I played football and hockey, tennis, basketball. But the computer broke down ...

Conversation between two men:
-Does your watch run correctly?
- I have them on our hand!

Did you know that the true Lord of the Rings works at the registry office?

What is man's best four-legged friend?
- Armchair!

Slow people have been compared to turtles, but there have been no reported cases of the tortoise being late.

My new Chinese phone works like a clock. But at the same time, like a telephone, it does not work ...

Mom and son at the entrance to the zoo, son: Mom, mom, look monkey! - No, son is the cashier's aunt.

Teacher: List me four pets
- A dog, and three puppies - Cheerfully answers Petrov.

A happy hedgehog and a pensive hare are walking along the forest path. The hare asks:
- Hedgehog, why are you constantly laughing?
- Heel grass tickles.

- "Ivanov, who did the homework: dad or mom?"
- "I don't know, I was already asleep"

What to do when you fall in love at first sight?
Look closely a second time ...

- Angelina, why do you drink so much water? The mother asks.
- Because I ate an apple, and forgot to wash my hands before eating.

In a psychiatric hospital, the patient says:
- I'm Napoleon.
- Why do you think so? The doctor asks.
- God told me.
Another ward indignantly intervenes in the conversation:
- No, I didn't.

The father explains to his three-year-old son:
- No, this is not a horse with antennae, but a deer!

The girl is taking a driving test. Sits in the car, the instructor says:
- You don't come through.
- But why? After all, I just got into the car!
The instructor:
- Yes, they sat down, only in the back seat.

Mom, I am so lucky at school today.
- Why?
- the teacher wanted to put me in a corner, but all corners were taken.

A conversation between two fishermen:
- Yesterday I caught a goldfish ..
- That's lucky! What wishes did you make?
- I had to choose from two desires: to become the most beautiful, or to have a good memory.
- And what did you choose?
- I do not remember …

- Tell me, please, is this cake fresh?
- Of course, see the production date January 1!
- But today is only December 30! - the buyer is surprised.
- You are very lucky with this cake from the future!

- Does your dog like children?
Yes, but more dog food.

There is a lesson at school, teacher:
- Children who consider themselves stupid stand up!
Several minutes pass, Nikita gets up.
teacher:
- Nikita, do you consider yourself stupid?
- No ... it's just uncomfortable that you are standing alone ...

In the lesson, the teacher instructed the children to draw grazing cows on a green field. Vasily brought a blank sheet of paper. the teacher asks:
- Why didn't Vassenka draw the green grass?
- The cow ate the grass
- Where is the cow?
- Well, what can a cow do there if there is no green grass?

Useful phones:
the roof is on fire - 01
no roof - 02
the roof has gone - 03 Or one common room 112

The son asks the banker-father:
- Dad, you have a bank and the money in your bank belongs to clients?
- Yes.
- Then where does the villa, yacht, my private school and everything else come from?
- Let me explain ... Bring me a large piece of bacon from the refrigerator
Son brings, father
- Now, take it back
- Well, took it, and what?
- Show me your hands, you see on your palms and there is fat on your fingers ...

Looking for some funny anecdote for kids? Then you come to us: Humor, jokes for children 10 years old are very funny, short funny.

We have compiled a large selection of a large number of very funny and funny jokes for children, school and about children. While we were picking up these anecdotes and reading them, we were very funny to the point of tears.

Anecdote is a small, funny story from life. We also recommend that you familiarize yourself with our previous release of funny anecdotes for children - it turned out to be very funny and funny (since each anecdote was selected manually).

Funny jokes for children 5-6 years old

A boy walking with his dad in the park saw two twins in a stroller. He looked at them for a long time with an intelligent expression on his face and finally asked his dad:
- Daddy, where is my second one?

On the alley, Sasha had a fight with his comrade. Dad began an educational conversation with him:
- Sasha, tell me, are you constantly fighting?
- Yes! - answered the boy.
- And even in kindergarten!
- Yes! - answered Sasha.
- And who wins?
- Our teacher always wins. - the kid answered sadly.

The son was treated to an apple. He silently takes it and looks at me. I:
- What should I say?
- Have you washed him?

I will become a fairy, - the granddaughter told me. - I'm learning all sorts of tricks. For example, a candy in my mouth disappears ...

Funny jokes for children 6-8 years old

- Rather, you will be late for school!
“Don't worry Mom, the school is open all day.

Today the son (6 years old) came up and said:
- Life has no meaning.
I ask:
- Why?
Answer:
- Teeth fell out ... Who needs me now?

We check the hearing with a doctor in a polyclinic. The doctor in a whisper:
- Candy.
Seva (7 years old), also in a whisper:
- I'm not allowed - allergy ...

Short jokes for children are very funny

- Mom, give me twenty rubles, I'll give them to that poor grandfather!
- You are my clever girl! Where is grandfather sitting?
- And over there, sells ice cream!

Mom says to her little son:
- Why don't you eat, you said you were hungry like a wolf?
- Mom, where did you see wolves eating carrots?

- Why do you write so small? - Asks the teacher Little Johnny.
- Marya Ivanovna, so that mistakes are hard to see!

- Which river is longer: Mississippi or Volga? - the teacher asks Vovochka.
- Of course Mississippi!
- And you know how much?
- Four letters!

Jokes for children about Gena and Cheburashka

Cheburashka comes to the cinema:
- How much does a movie ticket cost?
- Ten rubles.
- I only have five. Let me in, please, I'll look with one eye ... ..

Even the walls have ears.
Crocodile Gena consoled Cheburashka.

Cheburashka and Kolobok quarreled, wanted to fight.
Cheburashka says:
- Don't hit the ears!
Kolobok:
- And on the head too!

Cheburashka is sitting. The wolf approaches.
- Cheburashka, what time is it?
- In-oh-he is the path that leads to grandmother

Jokes about school are very funny for children

- Well done son, that he stopped crying!
- I have not stopped, I am resting!

The second of September, the beginning of the first lesson, the teacher says:
- Children, do you have any more questions?
Little Johnny:
- And when is the vacation?

- Little Johnny, this is my sweetie, give it back!
- Masha, where is mine then?
- I ate it!

The teacher told the students about the great inventors and asks:
- Children, what would you like to invent?
- I would have invented such a robot - I pressed the button and the lessons are done!
- Petya, you're a lazy guy! What will Vova say?
- And I would have invented a machine that would press this button!

Jokes about Vovochka for children

Little Johnny, who does your dad work for?
- A transformer.
- What is it like?
- 380 receives, 220 gives, the rest is buzzing ...

Little Johnny asks the teacher:
- Maria Ivanovna, is it possible to punish a person for what he did not do?
- No, Vova, by no means!
- Hooray, lucky, because I didn't do my homework!

Biology lesson.
- Little Johnny, tell the whole class how earthworms breed?
- By division, Antonina Petrovna.
- And detail?
- With a shovel.

Little Johnny, have you done your homework?
- No.
- Why then did you go to bed?
- The less you know the better you sleep.

The funniest jokes for children 10 years old

- Boy, not a hooligan, otherwise your dad will grow gray hair!
- My dad will be very happy, he's completely bald!

On a walk with his mother, Little Johnny makes her an unusual remark:
- Mom, you have such long nails!
- Thank you, Little Johnny. This is called a manicure.
- Oh, I would have to dig such a manicure in the ground!

Jokes for children without mats

In the daycare:
- Children, what birds don't need nests?
- To cuckoos, - Nikita answers.
- Why?
- Because they live in hours.

You will find even more funny anecdotes.

The domestic cat licked the baby's leg several times. Child:
- Mom's time to feed Murzik, otherwise he is already trying me!

After kindergarten, Roma says to dad:
- And today Vitya and Sasha had a fight!
- And which of the children won?
- Educator.

Dad asks the children:
- Who ate the apple?
Little Johnny:
- I do not know!
- Will you still?
- Will!

The funniest jokes for children 12 years old

In zoo:
- Dad, something gorilla looked at us very evil ...
- Calm down, sonny - this is still just a cash register.

- Little Johnny, there were two cakes in the fridge last night, and one this morning, why?
- Mom, a light bulb burned out in the refrigerator, and I didn't notice the second one!

Everyone loves to read and listen to jokes - not only adults, but also children. Therefore, today we have selected the funniest children's jokes for the age of 10-12 years, which you can read with your children, or tell them to them.

Children's jokes are the funniest

Two boys meet on the street. One reports the news:
- I just had a bad tooth pulled out.
- Well, does he still hurt?
- I dont know.
- How can you not know?
- And the doctor has a tooth.

The father says to his daughter:
- I would not dare to lie like that at your age!
- At what age did you start?

One boy says to another:
- My dad is very good.
- Are you telling me this?
- For you.
- Last year he was my dad.

Son to father:
- Dad, when you were in school, were you in the same class with Serega's father?
- Yes.
- It can't be!
- Why?
- Because he also claims to be the best student in the class.

The teacher scolds the student:
- You came again without a pen ?! I wonder what you would say if you saw a soldier showing up for an exercise without a weapon?
- I would say that he probably became a general.

The funniest jokes for children 10-12 years old

- Boy, not a hooligan, otherwise your dad will grow gray hair!
- My dad will be very happy, he's completely bald!

- Ivanov, who did your homework for you: dad or mom?
“I don’t know, I was already asleep.

Schoolchildren think that it is better to study at the institute, but only students know what is best in kindergarten!

Hedgehog learned to breathe booty. The Fox passes by, the Hedgehog to her and says:
- Fox, and Fox, strangle me!
The fox choked, choked - could not choke.
The Bear walks by, the Hedgehog says to him:
- Bear, and Bear, strangle me!
The bear choked-choked - could not choke.
The Hedgehog walked like this all day through the forest, and no one could strangle him. Tired Hedgehog, sat down on a stump and suffocated.

On the test, the teacher closely monitors the students and, at times, kicks out those with spurs. The director looks into the classroom.
- Are you writing a test? There are probably a lot of cheaters here.
Teacher:
- No, amateurs are already in the corridor, only professionals are left.

Children's jokes about Vovochka

In a biology class in the classroom, the teacher says:
- The pistil and stamen of flowers are reproductive organs.
Little Johnny from the back, sorry:
- Damn it, but I smell them ...

The teacher enters the class and asks Vovochka:
- And where is Seryozha?
- He's not there, we played, who will stick out the window further ... Well, he won.

Vova, what kind deed have you done today?
- And I saw off my dad and saw my uncle running after the departing train. So I let go of my dog, Pit Bull Rex, and my uncle caught the train.

At school:
- Well done, Nikita, solid five, give me a diary!
- Oh, I think I forgot it at home ...
- Take mine! - Little Johnny whispers.

- Little Johnny, let's say you have 100 rubles. You asked your father for another 100 rubles. How much money will you have?
- 100 rubles, Mary Ivanna.
- It's bad, Little Johnny, you don't know mathematics at all!
- And you, Mary Ivanna, do not know my father at all!

1. Which river is longer: Mississippi or Volga? - the teacher asks Vovochka.
- Of course Mississippi!
- And you know how much?
- Four letters!

2. The Russian language teacher says:
- Children, how do you understand the phrase "visible and invisible"? Vova, answer.
- So this TV is junk!

3. Homework is needed only in order to quarrel children and parents ...

4. Mom asks Little Johnny:
- How many tasks were on the test today?
- 15!
- And how much did you decide wrong?
- Only one!
- The rest, right?
- No, I didn't have time to solve the rest ...

5. Winnie the Pooh is eating a bun. Piglet approaches.
- Winnie, let me bite the bun.
- It's not a bun ... it's a pie!
- Well, give me a bite of the pie.
“It's not a pie… it's a donut!
- Well, let me bite the donut.
- Listen, Piglet, leave me alone, you don't know what you want!

6. Grandma, grandma! Why do you have such big eyes?
- To see you better ... - Why do you have such big ears?
- To better hear you ...
- Why do you have such a big nose?
- So, we are elephants, granddaughters ..

7. Dad, did you have a tablet as a child?
- No, then there were no computers either.
- What did you play then?
- Outside!

8. Schoolchildren think that it is better to study at the institute, but only students know what is most comfortable in
kindergarten!

Children's jokes are the funniest

9. Literature lesson. The teacher asks:
- Well kids, have you read War and Peace?
Silence ... One guy is blown up from his seat, with dumbfounded eyes asks:
- And why should I read it ???
Teacher:
- Well yes…
- And I rewrote !!!

9. Mom asks her son:
- Sasha, yesterday there were two pieces of cake left on the table. Now there is only one, why?
“It's just that in the dark I didn't notice the second piece,” Sasha replied.

10. A boy walking with his dad in the park saw two twins in a stroller. He considered them for a long time with
intelligent expression on his face and finally asked dad:
- Daddy, where is my second one?

11. The girl came to her neighbor and said:
- Mom is very sick and wants strawberry jam.
- Oh my God! What should you put in? Did you take a glass or a saucer?
- Yes, nothing is needed. I'll eat here.

12. Boxing in kindergarten. The judge in the ring gives the command:
- In different corners!
Boxers crying:
- We won't ...

13. Chemistry lesson. Teacher:
- Masha, what color is your solution?
- Red.
- Right. Sit down, five.
- Katya, what about you?
- Orange.
- Not quite right. Four, sit down.
- Little Johnny, the color of your solution?
- The black.
- Two. Class! Lie down.

14. Letter to Santa Claus:
- Grandfather Frost, I want Lenka to turn into a toad! And another gold bracelet.

15. Grandmother and granddaughter are sitting at a concert of chamber music. The cellist is playing. Granddaughter asks
grandmother:
- Grandma, when uncle has cut his box, shall we go home?

16. Your son shot during the lesson with a slingshot, complains the teacher of the student's mother.
- Ah! This mischief again lost the gun, which I gave him for his birthday.

The geography teacher asked Bora if he knew anything about the Panama Canal.
- No, - the student answers, - there is no such channel on our TV.

A radio was brought into the house of one grandmother. In the morning at six o'clock, it spoke for the first time:
- Good morning!
Grandma jumped out of bed:
- Good health! Where are you so early?

- Well, son, show the diary. What did you bring from school today?
- Yes, there is nothing to show, there is only one deuce.
- Just one?
- Don't worry, dad, I'll bring more tomorrow!

- Hello, is this 333-33-33?
- Yes.
- Please dial "Ambulance", otherwise my finger got stuck in the phone.

The Chukchi is walking along the road, and they ask him:
-Chukchi, where are you going?
-The injection, however
- To the clinic?
-No in the ass, however

Somehow I bought a new Russian designer<Лего> and boasts to his friend:
- Hey, Vovan, look, this garbage says:<От 2-х до 4-х лет>... So I collected it in two months.

Little girl talking to her father:
- Dad, today I dreamed that you gave me a little chocolate bar.
- If you will obey, you will dream that you gave a big one.

- Mom, can I go for a walk?
- With dirty ears?
- No, with comrades.

Chemistry lesson:
-Tell me, Little Johnny, what substances do not dissolve in water?
Little Johnny without hesitation:
-Fishes!

Cannibals caught a tourist. They made a fire, put a vat of water and asked:
- What is your name?
- And what difference does it make to you, eat it anyway!
- How is it, but for the menu ?!

Cheburashka somehow approaches Gena and says:
- Gena, Shapoklyak gave us 10 oranges on February 23, 8 each.
- How is it for 8, if there are 10?
- I don't know, but I already ate my 8!

A little girl asks her grandfather:
- Grandpa, what kind of berries are they?
- It's black currant.
- Why is it red?
- Because it's still green.

- Piglet, do you know your pedigree?
- Yeah. My grandfather (sighs) was a chop. Father was (proudly) kebab ...
- What do you dream of becoming?
- And I (looks into the sky and is so sad ...) an astronaut.
- Why is it so sad?
- Yes, I'm afraid I won't fit into a tube ...

The uncle came to the doctor and said:
- Doctor, in my ears the bells are ringing.
- And you do not answer them, do not pick up the phone!

Teacher:
- Guys, tell me, what is the number of the word "bryuki": singular or plural?
Pupil:
- Above - singular, and downy - plural.

One student decided to play a trick on another. Painted the chair.
The second one comes in and says right from the doorway:
- Kolyan, I ...
First to him:
- Yes, you sit down first, - and points to a chair.
And this one again:
- Kolyan, I wanted to tell you ...
The first:
- Yes, you sit down, do not be shy.
The second sat down. The first chuckles:
- Now tell me.
- Kolyan, I just wanted to say that I put on your jeans.

Grandpa sleeps in a chair, whistling loudly through his nose. The little granddaughter twirls a button on his jacket.
- What are you doing? - asks the grandmother.
- I want to catch another program!

A plane landed at the airport. Passengers get off the gangplank.
One man's pants fall off, he pulls them up and says:
-Here is Aeroflot: first fasten the belt, then unfasten ...

- Why does a gorilla have such big nostrils?
- Because she has thick fingers.

A five-year-old boy answered the phone.
-Yes.
-Call your dad or mom.
-They're not home.
- Is there anyone else?
-Yes, my sister.
-Call her, please.
After a while, the boy answered the phone again:
- It's too heavy. I can't get her out of the stroller!

The five year old son asks:
-Dad, do you know how long one tube of paste is enough?
-No.
-All the hallway, living room and half of the loggia ...

Two flies come out of the bar.
One says: "Well, let's go on foot or wait for the dog?"

Once a hedgehog fell into the hole, he cannot get out and thinks: "If I don't get out in 5 minutes, I'll go home for the stairs."

Gene, be careful here hemp-hemp steps.
-Thanks Cherim-burum-burashka.

The wallpaper that is washed is, of course, a good thing. But how difficult
was to rip them off to shove them into the washing machine.

The woman asks for a glass of sparkling water:
- Glass of water.
- With syrup?
- No.
- Without cherry or without apple?

The guy and the girl walk around the city and pass the restaurant. The girl says:
- Oh, how delicious it smells!
- Did you like it? Do you want us to go one more time?

A girl walks into a dairy store. It means that he puts the can on the scales:
-Me, sour cream.
Vendor, splash sour cream into her can.
- Here's a girl, you have sour cream. Where's the money?
-In a can

- Boy, how old are you?
- Five.
- And you are not higher than my umbrella ...
- How old is your umbrella?

After dinner, the mother goes to the kitchen, and the daughter shouts after her:
- No, Mom, I don't want you to wash the dishes on your birthday. Leave her for tomorrow.

A boy watches on TV a film about a boy everyone loved and says:
- If you wash me, I will be the same!

Mom tells her son
- Is that how they read a book, son? You skip a few pages.
- And this book is about spies. I want to catch them soon.

At the rental boat station, the boss shouts into the megaphone:
- Boat number 99! Return to the shore - your time is up!
After five minutes:
- Boat number 99, come back now!
After five minutes:
- Boat number 99! If you do not return, we will fine you!
An assistant approaches the boss:
- Ivan Ivanovich! We have only 73 boats, where did the 99th come from?
The chief freezes for a moment, and then rushes to the shore:
- Boat number 66! Are you in trouble ?!

Gave Heels to Winnie the Pooh for his birthday a cell phone
-That's Blame you a cell phone gift!
- Well, thank you buddy!
The next day Winnie the Pooh meets Heel
-What did you give me yesterday for my birthday ???
-Co-cell phone ...
- I was picking for 3 hours yesterday, the weight of the phone broke, there is no honeycomb or honey

Mom says to the girl:
“If you don’t eat semolina, I’ll call Baba Yaga.
- Mom, do you really think that she will eat it?

- Doctor, you forbade me to eat at night, so I caught a cold!
- What is the connection?
- Well, of course - I stood all night at the refrigerator, looked at the chicken, so I blew!

Granddaughter and grandfather are sitting by the window ... the granddaughter is babbling. Grandpa look !!!
a crow, two crows, three crows ... a whole Voronezh !!!.

Two Chukchi are sitting, breaking a bomb. A man walks by.
"Hey, what are you doing, she's going to explode!" - "However, nothing, we have one more!"

The Georgian is drowning in the sea and has forgotten in Russian the word "save", shouts:
- I’m swimming for the last time!

Winnie says to Piglet.
- Hey, Vinnie, but I know what will happen to you when you grow up!
- Why, have you read my horoscope? - Nope, the book "About tasty and healthy food"!

Host - to the guest: - Shall I light you on the steps? - No, thanks, I'm already lying downstairs.

In the middle of the lesson, Little Johnny enters the class with a bandaged head.
Annoyed teacher: - Well, what happened this time? - Fell from the fifth floor.
- And what, flew two whole lessons?

Seller: - This wall clock runs for two weeks without a factory.
- Yes you?! And if you start them?